


Borrowing Trouble

by onekisstotakewithme



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst, April Fools' Day, Bisexual B. J. Hunnicutt, Bisexual Hawkeye Pierce, Episode: s08e25 April Fools, I literally angsted a goofy episode oops, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-16 12:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/pseuds/onekisstotakewithme
Summary: Hawk has done a lot of things that the army frowns upon, but nothing more so than thisTag to April Fools





	Borrowing Trouble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flootzavut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/gifts).



> This is for Floot, for reasons ♥

It’s later, after Margaret and Charles have left to begin setting their grand finale in motion, that Hawk finally gets a chance to talk to BJ in private.

They won’t have another chance, and there are things he needs to say in case things go south.

“Beej,” he says without preamble, “I don’t want you anywhere near the O Club while we get Tucker.”

BJ looks up from the wool he’s been absentmindedly untangling, surprise and confusion written all over his face. “What? What about all that stuff about the crime fitting the punishment?”

“Yeah, well I changed my mind. Sort of. I’m very fickle that way.”

“I thought we were going to get Tucker, go out in a blaze of glory, be the kind of heroes they talk about generations from now? Are we not doing that anymore?”

“Beej…” There’s a lump in his throat that he can’t explain. Yes, this final joke is his idea, because he has nothing to lose, none of them do… except for BJ. “Listen, Margaret, Charles and I can take care of it. Not you.”

“Are you benching me, coach?” BJ asks, incredulous. “Why this sudden change of heart, Hawk?”

“Because I don’t give a single khaki-colored _fuck_ what happens to me. And I only care a little bit about what happens to Margaret and Charles. They’re my friends. But _you._ ” He stops.

BJ raises an eyebrow. “What? I’m special?”

“ _You_ have a family to go back to, a family you need to support. Being brought up on charges won’t help you _or_ them.”

“Hawk,” BJ says, shaking his head. “This may have escaped your notice, but I’m being brought up on charges anyway. Tucker said he’d get all of us, remember? Insubordination. Conduct unbecoming an officer. Whether or not you add assault to those charges, they stand on their own.”

“Except they don’t,” Hawk says, struggling to keep his voice level. “Beej, I don’t think you understand-,”

“I don’t think _you_ understand,” BJ says back, finally tossing aside the yarn. “You think I’m just gonna… you think I’d let the rest of you take the fall for this when I had a hand in it? When I helped plan it? I’m just as much at fault as the rest of you.” The surprise on his face has been replaced with anger.

“Beej-,” Hawk tries.

“What kind of friend do you think I am, Hawk? I’m not abandoning you to the court, to the… the _gallows_ if it comes to that. I wouldn’t do it before with Frank, and I’m sure as hell not doing it now. Besides, it’ll be fine, it’s a silly little prank-,”

Hawk can’t help himself, standing so that he’s towering over Beej, running a hand through his hair in agitation, if only to stop himself from grabbing Beej and shaking sense into him. Hawkeye needs to get through to him, make him _understand_. “There’s a whole camp full of people who will testify that I do stupid juvenile pranks to blow off steam, because if not, I’d go crazy. Besides, even if Potter’s steamed about us disobeying him, he’s still gonna defend us. Me. And Margaret and Charles. The three of us will be fine. And so will you, because you’re going to stay out of it, Beej. I don’t want you getting in trouble with the rest of us, not if I can help it.”

“I’m helping and you’re not stopping me!”

“Listen, you _fucking idiot!”_ Hawk yells, grabbing two fistfuls of BJ’s shirt and tugging him to his feet. He’s angry and panicking inside, and _is that fear he sees in Beej’s eyes?_ “I’m not giving them any more fucking evidence than they already have to _court martial you._ Margaret and Charles and I, the three of us, we have nothing left to lose, but _you do_! So if you’d just stop being a _fucking_ idiot and do me the favor of _not_ providing enough rope to hang yourself with, I’d appreciate it!”

They both stand there, frozen in a ridiculous tableau, Beej’s shirt still clutched in Hawk’s shaking hands. They’re eye to eye, and Hawk’s heart is a battering ram inside his chest. 

“And what about you?” BJ asks quietly after a minute, after an endless agonizing minute of silence. Everything Hawk wants to say dies in his throat, because he doesn’t have an answer.

He does a half-hearted shrug, letting go of BJ. “What about me?” he asks in return.

“Don’t you care about what happens to you?”

“No.” Hawk can’t stop a laugh from escaping, a bitter chuckle. “Beej, they’ve got enough evidence of my stupid stunts to convict me five times over. This is just the cherry on top. At least Margaret and Charles should be okay. Stellar records, good conduct. You too. You’ll all get off lightly, which is what I want. So just leave me to it, okay?”

“I don’t need you protecting me, Hawk. I’m with you until the end, okay?” Beej’s hand ends up on his shoulder, gentle and warm, and Hawk finally meets his eye. The hand on Hawk’s shoulder moves to cup his cheek. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I mean… it’s only a few steps from insubordination to mutiny… and a few steps beyond that to sodomy, or homosexuality or whatever cute name they’re calling it lately. Those labels don’t leave you, Beej.”

 Beej tenses, and Hawk wishes he could take it back, wishes he could just savour the warm hand on his face, savour the memories of Beej’s warm hands elsewhere on his skin. More than anything he wishes the world were different, that he could love BJ Hunnicutt openly with all the grandeur it deserves. Hawk has done a lot of things that the army frowns upon, but nothing more so than this, because according to the army, being in love with another man is a lot fucking worse than insubordination.

“I’m with you,” Beej says again. “No matter what.”

“Then you’re an idiot,” Hawk says, all the fight going out of him. He reaches up and takes BJ’s hand off his face, but instead of letting go, he holds it and squeezes it. “If I’m being tarred and feathered here, I want you out of reach of the army’s brush.”

“I didn’t think I had a choice.”

“Well… it’s all my fault, obviously,” he says, and watches BJ’s lips twitch into a reluctant smile. “I’m the _really_ bent one here. You’re… you’re a married man, you have a daughter. You’re obviously not a sodomite.”

“Well,” Beej laughs humorlessly as he squeezes Hawk’s hand, reassurance incarnate. He leans his forehead against Hawk’s. “If I’m not a homosexual, neither are you. I will personally drag every single nurse you’ve ever debauched before a court martial to testify that you are absolutely interested in women.”

“You think it’s that easy?”

“Hawk, there’s no sense borrowing trouble. We’ll face what comes.”

“I would never borrow trouble. Beg, yes. Steal, sure. But _borrow_?” he says, trying to lighten the mood. “Beej, you may not have noticed, but the only thing I’m borrowing in this war, aside from time… is you.”

This brings a smile to Beej’s face, and he leans in, kissing the tip of Hawk’s nose. “You’re not borrowing me, Hawk. I’m yours.”

“Beej,” Hawk says, softly. _I love you,_ he thinks, even if the timing is all wrong and backwards. Because Hawk is stubborn, and so is BJ and if they’re going to hang, it might as well be for a sheep as a lamb. The enormity of what they’re about to do hits him again, and this could end a thousand different ways. “Are you sure?”

This isn’t the first time Hawk has asked this question. But Beej gives the same smile, the same look that promises his unending trust in Hawkeye, the same answer as he gave the last time. “Yes.”


End file.
